Guide to MBTI Compatibility in Dating and Relationships

The Ultimate Guide to MBTI Compatibility in Dating and Relationships

ENFP MBTI Compatibility Article - Compatibility Chart ENFP related

Intro to MBTI and Relationships

I first officially discovered personality psychology about twelve years ago. I say officially because I do have some vague memories of taking a career test in high school that was likely based on the Myers-Briggs® (MBTI) instrument, but who really pays attention to tests when you are 16?

The Myers-Briggs assessment is one of many options in the world of personality profiles and testing. It is arguably the most popular, and in my opinion, it is the best place to start when it comes to studying personality types and especially relationship compatibility among different types. I say this because the results provide insight into all aspects of our lives, whereas other tests are often focused on just career.

The Myers-Briggs instrument is based on the idea that people are quite different from one another. These differences go deeper than emotions, moods, or environment, and speak to how we’re actually wired to behave.

And, as it turns out, most people end up being wired in 1 of 16 ways (hence, there are 16 personalities), based on four groups of characteristics. This doesn’t mean we can’t build certain traits or change our behavior. Rather, knowing your personality type is an opportunity to learn which traits come most naturally to you and which areas you may find challenging or need to invest time in developing.

Your MBTI personality type provides a platform to understand yourself and create a plan for personal growth based on your unique personality strengths and weaknesses.

It is also an opportunity to understand the people around you and get to the root of many conflicts. In fact, you may find that understanding the different MBTI personality types and how others relate to you is the most valuable aspect of the Myers-Briggs instrument.

For this reason, MBTI provides an invaluable insight into our relationships and dating and the level of our compatibility with other MBTI personality types.

Why MBTI Compatibility Matters for Relationships

Have you ever had a relationship that started off amazingly well, but it turned out to be a disaster due to “irreconcilable differences”?

It’s a catchphrase you often hear when a celebrity couple breaks up or gets divorced. What exactly ARE these irreconcilable differences?

I’m sure we can split hairs here and list any number of little annoying things our exes did that drove us crazy, or situations when it seemed we were having two completely different conversations.

We’re talking about underlying personality compatibility here.

How do you and your (potential) partner get energized? What drains the life out of them?

If you love partying and you couldn’t think of anything that raises your energy so much and your partner’s naturally wired to love spending time in low-key environments most of the time, that could be a sign of personality incompatibility…

Although, if you love to party with just your guys or gals, a partner who prefers to stay home could be just what you’re looking for.

Are you a bit more relaxed, go with the flow, or heck, let’s say it – disorganized? A person you initially think is the love of your life may not be able to tolerate too much spontaneity and operate without a plan set well in advance…so will it work?

Is it true that opposites attract?

These are the things that MBTI compatibility analysis may provide some insight into.

It primarily helps us figure out our own personality and how we function best in our dating and relationships. It also helps us navigate the dating pool more smoothly, gauge our relationship compatibility, and therefore, avoid pain and potentially years wasted with an incompatible partner.

I have made a Simplified MBTI Compatibility Chart which you can check out and download. (Alternatively click HERE)

Finding Your Perfect MBTI Personality Match

There are a few important things to consider when it comes to finding your perfect MBTI personality match for dating and relationship.

Personality analysis and profiling is an art, as well as a science.

In other words, since people are so diverse, the descriptions and results aren’t always black and white. Some people have a strong preference for one mode or the other, but others are closer to the middle. It’s natural for all of us occasionally to feel or demonstrate traits of the other personality types.

Sure, you want a partner who complements your strengths and weaknesses, but most of us also want someone who understands us – someone with whom we can express our opinions and ideas and be understood.

So nothing can beat personal experience and you shouldn’t be quick to discard any MBTI type’s potential for dating you just because, in theory, you’re not very compatible.

It’s a big-picture theory and should be taken with a grain of salt when deciding which personality types are compatible.

After all, the point is for us to develop and grow in our relationships, so whatever type you find your partner to be, show up and be the best possible you can be for them – and expect the same. 🙂

If you want to find out what MBTI is compatible with you, download this simplified Myers Briggs Compatibility Chart.

This MBTI compatibility chart can be also helpful to your friends and family in their own relationships, so consider sharing this article with them.

Here’s a preview from Simplified MBTI compatibility Chart

Best MBTI Type Matches

What follows is the list of best matches for all the 16 personality types according to the Myers-Briggs personality system.

INFP + ENFJ
INFP + ENTJ
ENFP + INFJ
ENFP + INTJ
INFJ + ENTP
ENFJ + ISFP
INTJ + ENTP
ENTJ + ENTP
INTP + ENTJ
INTP + ESTJ
ISFP + ESFJ
ISFP + ESTJ
ESFP + ISFJ
ESFP + ISTJ
ISTP + ESFJ
ISTP + ESTJ
ESTP + ISFJ
ESTP + ISTJ

This is just a quick reference of ideal personality matches, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t have a better and very successful relationship with many other MBTI types.

To find out what personality is probably NOT going to be a very good match for you, download this MBTI Personality Type Compatibility Chart.

Good Matches For Your Specific MBTI Type (Idealist Types)

Since the original creation of the 16 personality types, psychologists have recognized four distinct groups, each containing four types.

The four types within each group have distinct traits in common based on sharing two of the four traits.

The four types are:

The Artisans (The SPs)
The Guardians (The SJs)
The Idealists (The NFs)
The Rationals (The NTs)

datw overview idealist guardian rational artisan — Made by villasophiasalon

According to surveys, NF (idealist) types find the greatest relationship satisfaction dating other NFs.

This is likely because Idealists share a common way of thinking and feeling about the world.

Don’t take these suggestions as limits to who you can be with. Ultimately, the two individuals, and their desire to grow and work to create an incredible relationship, will be the biggest determination of their success together.

With that said, one incompatibility I’ve noticed time and time again is between Intuitives (N) and Sensors (S). I think this is because these two groups have fundamentally different ways of interacting with the world and often have trouble understanding one another.

In my own experience in romantic relationships, friendships, and business partnerships, I (a strong Intuitive – ENFP), have always run into trouble with strong Sensors.

Beyond that caveat, it’s all up in the air.

Generally, for organization sake, I would suggest that P’s match with a J. The P will benefit from the J’s structure and organization, and the J will benefit from the P’s creativity and spontaneity.

The research Marioles, N., et. al. (1996) Attraction, satisfaction, and psychological types of couples. Journal of Psychological Type, Vol 36. offers some more insights on this:

“The two competing hypotheses, that opposites at tract, and that like attracts like, were examined separately for men and women.

With two exceptions, ESTJ men married to INFP women and ESTP men married to INFJ women, there is little evidence that opposites attract or marry.

There was also a trend for ISTJ men to marry ENFP women.

For both women and men, 9 of the 16 possible pairings of opposite types were not found.

On the other hand, the attraction ratios suggest that “like types” do tend to be attracted to and marry each other, especially among intuitive and feeling types.

For men, the types most overrepresented in being married to like types were INFPs, ENFJs, and INTPs. For women, the most overrepresented combinations were ENFJs and INFJs.

Although we cannot make too much of the probability of any particular type pairing, the overall pattern or trend suggests that like attracts like, particularly on the S-N and T-F scales.”

The ENFP Personality in Dating and Relationships

The ENFP or so-called Campaigner personality tend to be fun, loving, exciting, and loyal partners.

They are generally disinterested in the day-to-day maintenance of their relationship or home and are more focused on moments of passion and their creative inspirations.

The partner of an ENFP can expect surprises ranging from luxurious gifts and vacations to periods of frugality.

ENFPs are generally drawn to novelty.

An immature ENFP may find themselves bouncing from one short relationship to another without ever developing anything real. A developed ENFP will learn to fulfill their need for novelty and excitement through other mediums, such as vacations or sports, as well as by learning to discover deeper levels of themselves and their partner.

ENFPs often match well with other idealist types – INFJs, ENFJs, INFPs, and possibly other ENFPs.

Yet according to Jung, the ideal partner for an ENFP is an INTJ. The two have very complementary personalities and are perhaps most likely to also be successful in a business partnership or in creating a wonderfully functional home.

ENFP Tips and Tricks for Dating

Tips for Dating as an ENFP

Stop trying to please people and learn to value your own needs as well. Don’t adjust your actions or opinions to gain approval or conform to groups. This behavior may help your dating life in the short term, but in the long run it will sabotage your ability to find a mate you’re truly compatible with.
Avoid dating Sensors. In the short term they will be drawn to your creativity, spontaneity, and all round fun attitude, but you will never be able to communicate with one another on a higher level.
ENFPs can be overly enthusiastic. In the early stages of a relationship, avoid making gushy or smothering comments during the moments you just happen to feel something strong. You may turn some partners off and you may give other partners unrealistic expectations about how strongly you feel for them.
ENFPs have a strong dislike of conflict, criticism, and confrontation. You will benefit from developing your ability to handle conflict. The only way to do this is with baby steps, one awkward conversation at a time.
You may set very high expectations for yourself and your partner. Just remember: Everyone is human, and no partner or relationship will be perfect. Don’t be too hard on your partner or yourself.
If you’re after a “perfect” relationship, take time to check in with your partner on this. Does he or she share your same high expectations and willingness to work on the relationship? If so, is their vision of a “perfect” relationship the same as yours? Communication around your goals and desires is essential to avoid conflict and disappointment.
Take time to study successful relationships. ENFPs tend to buy into the idea of fairy tale romance and the existence of a perfect relationship. While romantic, this isn’t always the most realistic view. Long term relationships often take work, compromise, and personal development to succeed. On a positive note, this belief encourages some ENFPs to work hard at creating a great relationship. On a negative note, some ENFPs may be too quick to jump ship when challenges arise. This stems from the fairy tale idea that “if we are perfect for each other then we wouldn’t have any problems or challenges.”

Tips for Dating an ENFP

ENFPs are affectionate, lively, caring, and fun partners. Although they love novelty and can “date around,” their desire to be authentic means if they commit to a relationship they mean it and will be loving and loyal. If you learn to work with their weaknesses, you may find yourself in a very happy and fulfilling relationship.
If you find yourself dating an immature ENFP, be prepared for a fun and laughter-filled relationship… and not much else.
ENFPs are highly intuitive and will see through most lies and artificial (i.e., fake) behavior. If you’re dishonest or inauthentic they will know and you’ll lose their respect.
In some areas ENFPs are excellent communicators, but they dislike conflict, criticism, and confrontation. This means they are uncomfortable and often unpracticed with certain kinds of discussions. As their partner, you need to be aware of this and may need to be the one to initiate uncomfortable or difficult conversations. They may initially be hesitant to put their emotions on the table, but you can encourage them by using an open and non-judgmental tone.
ENFPs are fun, spontaneous, and adventurous. Fighting this instinct will only cause you problems. Your best option is to embrace and enjoy it. Remember, being playful or funny is not a sign of immaturity. The ability to balance serious pursuits with a childlike playfulness is a sign of wisdom.
ENFPs are not organized, keen on schedules, or otherwise interested in repetitive or mundane work. If you want to build a life with an ENFP, you must accept this and accept them. Develop systems, hire help, or take responsibility for the details of your life together.
It’s important to remember that we don’t choose our personality traits. Yes, ENFPs can develop their Te and become better organized, but it will never be as easy for them as it is for many other types. Because of this, it is not wise to judge their effort or desire by their results.
ENFPs can be overly enthusiastic, so when they express their feelings for you always take it with a grain of salt. Judge them more by their actions than their words. This is especially important in the early stages of a relationship.

The INFP Personality in Dating and Relationships

The INFP, also known as the Mediator, initially appear to be calm and laid back partners. Inside, this isn’t really the case. INFPs experience the world and their relationships with intense emotions.

Once they give their heart to someone, INFPs are intensely loyal, committed, and loving. In fact, INFPs are capable of the deepest levels of love, loyalty, and caring, but they won’t give their heart to just anyone.

Because they experience emotions so intensely, and are generally very sensitive, the INFP personality begins their relationships closed off and reserved. This is an effective defense mechanism to save themselves from heartbreak. They must feel a lot of trust before they will let their guard down and open themselves up to another person.

Because INFPs can get lost in their own heads, and often have trouble “objectively” viewing a situation, they are well matched with more logical and stable types, such as ENTJs. This provides them with a “rock” and an anchor to help bring them back to reality when needed.

It also means their partner is unlikely to be pulled into their emotional struggles and will be comfortable dealing with any difficult situations (confrontation, negotiation, etc.) on behalf of the couple.

I’ve mentioned NF (Idealist) types find the greatest relationship satisfaction dating NFs. However, we should always remember there is no be all and end all. The information on personality type compatibility is either based on theory or surveys, neither of which will ever provide a universal rule.

According to Jung, the ideal partner for an INFP is an ENTJ. The two have complementary personalities and are perhaps most likely to be successful in a business partnership or in creating a home…but this doesn’t mean they will find true love together.

Another well-complemented type for the INFP personality are the ENFJ.

INFP Tips and Tricks for Dating

Tips For Dating as an INFP

Make a strong effort to express your feelings. Your “default” way of dating may be quite different from what your partner is used to, so make an effort to explain how you feel and why you behave the way you do.
Avoid dating those with low emotional intelligence. You are very sensitive to criticism and conflict and need someone who can understand you and create a harmonious relationship.
INFPs have a strong dislike of conflict, criticism, and confrontation. You will benefit from developing your ability to handle conflict. The only way to do this is with baby steps, one awkward conversation at a time.
You may have a tendency to idealize people, or get lost in your own imagination. Just remember that everyone is human, and no partner or relationship will be perfect, so don’t be too hard on your partner, or yourself.

Tips For Dating an INFP

If you find yourself dating an immature INFP, be prepared for disagreements around “reality,” as they may skew the facts to fit their own view of the world. This can be especially challenging since conflict or arguments around these “facts” will likely upset them.
The INFP personality type is highly intuitive and will see through most BS. If you’re not honest and authentic, they will notice and you’ll lose their respect.
INFPs have trouble expressing their feelings. Try and help them along by providing opportunities to casually discuss feelings or situations without judgment. Show them you care and that you’re genuinely interested in their happiness.
INFPs have good communication skills but they also have a strong dislike of conflict, criticism, and confrontation. As their partner, you need to be aware of this and may need to initiate any difficult conversations and encourage the INFP to open up and share how they really feel. During these conversations, go out of your way to be especially gentle and help them through.
Once they open up to you, INFPs can be very fun, spontaneous, and adventurous. Embrace this form of expression and enjoy the adventures that follow.
INFPs are not organized, keen on schedules, or otherwise interested in repetitive or mundane work. If you want to build a life with an INFP, you must accept this and accept them. Develop systems, hire help, or take responsibility for the details of your life together.

The ENFJ Personality in Dating and Relationships

People are a priority for most ENFJs. They strive to create close and authentic relationships.

ENFJs, also known as the Protagonist personality, tend to be happy, loyal, and supportive partners. They are genuinely interested in people and the success of the people they care about.

Within their romantic relationships, ENFJs are warm, loving and affectionate, and they desire the same from their partners, although they often have trouble asking for it directly.

Aside from other NF types, many say INTPs and ISFPs are very compatible with ENFJs. The two have very complementary personalities and are perhaps most likely to be successful in a business partnership or in creating a home.

ENFJ Tips and Tricks for Dating

Tips for Dating as an ENFJ

Stop trying to please people and learn to value your own needs as well. You may have a tendency to make everyone around you like you by adjusting your opinions to match theirs or conforming in other ways. This behaviour may help your dating life in the short term, but in the long run it will sabotage your ability to find a mate you’re truly compatible with.
ENFJs, especially males, can be overly enthusiastic. In the early stages of a relationship avoid making gushy or smothering comments in the moment when you just happen to feel something strong. You may turn some partners off and you may give other partners unrealistic expectations about how strongly you feel for them.
ENFJs have a strong dislike of conflict, criticism and confrontation. You will benefit from developing your ability to handle conflict. The only way to do this is baby steps, one awkward conversation at a time.
ENFJs are excellent partners and lovers. Value yourself and what you bring to the table. Take time to access those you date and determine if they can match your standards of loyalty or affection.

Tips for Dating an ENFJ

ENFJs are highly intuitive and will see through most BS. If you’re not honest and authentic they will notice and you’ll lose their respect.
ENFJs have good communication skills but they also have a strong dislike of conflict, criticism and confrontation. As their partner, you need to be aware of this and may need to initiate any difficult conversations and encourage the ENFJ to open up and share how they really feel.
ENFJs are affectionate and warm with their actions and their words. If you want to keep your partner happy, be sure you reciprocate in kind and lay on the love with your words and actions.
Small gestures can go a long way. Surprise your partner with a single rose or a few sweet words on a card and you will fill their heart with joy for hours.
ENFJs idealize relationships and their partners. They aren’t happy with “normal” and will strive to create an exceptional relationship. This is important for you to know for two reasons:
1) To be happy dating an ENFJ you will both need to invest time in growing as people and growing your relationship.
2) Sometimes you may need to remind your ENFJ partner that you, and they, are only human. This can help give them perspective over little fights, ups and downs in the relationship, or your (or their) screw-ups.

The INFJ Personality in Dating and Relationships

The INFJ type, also known as the Counselor or Advocate, will seek intense and powerful relationships full of romance and meaning. They demand a lot from their relationships but are willing to give a lot at the same time.

Within their romantic relationships, INFJs are warm and loving partners. INFJs tend to buy into the idea of fairy tale romance and the existence of a perfect relationship.

On a positive note, this belief encourages them to work hard at creating a great relationship. On a negative note, some INFJs may be too quick to jump ship when challenges arise.

This stems from the fairy tale ideal and the idea that “if we are perfect for each other then we wouldn’t have any problems or challenges.”

INFJs are loyal and desire a long-term, committed relationship. When they feel they have found the right person, they are ready and willing to invest themselves in creating the perfect relationship.

The best dating matches for an INFJ are the ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, and other INFJ folks.

According to relationship theory, the INFJ’s two most compatible matches for partnership in building a life (or business) are ENTPs and ENFPs.

INFJ Tips and Tricks for Dating

Tips for Dating as an INFJ

INFJs have a strong dislike of conflict, criticism, and confrontation. As an INFJ, you will benefit from developing your ability to handle conflict. The only way to do this is with baby steps, one awkward conversation at a time.
INFJs are excellent partners and loyal companions. Value yourself and what you bring to the table. Take time to access those you date and determine if they can match your standards of loyalty or affection.
You may set very high expectations for yourself and your partner. Just remember: Everyone is human, and no partner or relationship will be perfect. Don’t be too hard on your partner or yourself.
If you’re after a “perfect” relationship, take time to check in with your partner on this. Does he or she share your same high expectations and willingness to work on the relationship? If so, is their vision of a “perfect” relationship the same as yours? Communication around your goals and desires is essential to avoid conflict and disappointment.
You may have trouble hitting the eject button on a bad relationship. If your relationship isn’t meeting your needs, speak to someone you trust for an objective opinion. Your loyalty, caring, and desire to make things work could be blinding you to reality.

Tips for Dating an INFJ

INFJs are affectionate, warm, and loving partners. They are also honest and loyal. If they commit to a relationship, they mean it. Be clear about your own intentions and desires as they relate to your relationship. Don’t string an INFJ along if you aren’t serious. If you are all in, make sure they know and feel the same way. I speak to this more in the last point.
INFJs are highly intuitive and will see through most lies, BS, and false fronts. Be honest and authentic or you’ll lose their respect.
Some INFJs struggle with organization, personal finances, and keeping a schedule. If you want to build a life with an INFJ, you must accept this and accept them. Develop systems, hire help, or take responsibility for the details of your life together.
INFJs have good communication skills but they also have a strong dislike of conflict, criticism, and confrontation. As the partner, you need to be aware of this and may need to initiate difficult conversations and encourage the INFJ to open up and share how they really feel. One way to help people open up is to approach the conversation in a friendly and loving way, and to be clear that you will accept and love them no matter what they communicate.
Because they throw themselves fully into relationships, people with the INFJ personality can be wary of showing their cards or putting their heart on the line too early. They will look for signs that you’re not serious or may leave town as a way to protect themselves from heartbreak. If you’re serious about the relationship, make sure they know it.

Final Words

The compatibility in this MBTI Compatibility Chart is based on relationship satisfaction surveys, as well as MBTI personality type compatibility.

Keep in mind, by its very name, this is meant to be a simplified Myers Briggs type compatibility chart for quick reference.

Every relationship is unique. A good match on this chart doesn’t necessarily mean a good match in real life, nor does a bad match mean an otherwise healthy relationship is doomed.

Do not rely solely on this MBTI relationship chart for making decisions on existing relationships, whether romantic or in the workplace. If you want to better understand a particular relationship, I strongly recommend reading deeper on each of the two types before jumping to any conclusion.

You can learn more about some of the MBTI types in the articles below, as well as throughout this website in general.